Finding Joy in the Story of Life

Saw this photo on Facebook and had to share it. It’s especially meaningful to me, since it sums up my journey during 2018. While this account is mainly related to my farm & social media mostly shows the great highlights of our lives, there’s always the reality that there’s hardships, struggles we all have in life. We humans often “put on a happy face” when around other people and say we’re doing well when asked. 

 Ever since I was a young child, I pictured my life would be - get married, have kids and of course, a menagerie of animals, a huge garden, etc. It’s not like I had a specific timetable for things to occur, but assumed it would happen by a certain age.  Every passing year, I’d start out thinking and hoping maybe it’ll be this year. Even while “enjoying” my present life, I was always hoping for the next chapter. But it’s hard to fully enjoy life and be content in the moment when in the back of your mind, there’s always “something missing” from your life picture you had formed. To the point that for the first time in my life, I couldn’t fully enjoy my birthday a few months ago. Despite knowing in my mind the Scripture, “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope.’ “ I had moments of doubt and discouragement. Some days I didn’t want to get out of bed. 

Finally, towards the end of December, I had a long conversation with God and laid it all out at His feet. I decided to believe His Word, rather than trying to cling onto my shattered dreams for my life. 

Nothing changed, but yet everything changed. 

I still don’t know what the future will be, but I’m more at peace with not knowing.

I don’t have to know, because He will lead and guide me as I follow His footsteps.

Yes, I still have moments when my old way of thinking tries to take control of my mind. But it’s just a waste of time and energy trying to reach the grass on the other side of the fence, when there’s everything I need right on this side of the fence. 

What’s incredible is, since I decided to stop trying so hard to somehow make my life the way I pictured, I’ve found there’s plenty of adventures and experiences awaiting me each and every day! I’ve been more free to just be myself and who God is making me to be, not being held back by my own constants. As a result, I’m able to enjoy life as it unfolds with anticipation and confidence that I don’t have to figure it out or strive so hard. It’s like living a book that you’ve never have read before, and every page comes alive as the adventures unfold. It’s a place of learning to find the joy in the story that is my life.